Ep. 25: The Truth About Men's Masturbation Habits

Sex, Lust & Love...What Matters?

This question has come up several times since I began interviewing men and because this is the six month anniversary of Sex, Lust & Love, I thought it would be a good time to explore the topic.

When I began researching masturbation on the Internet I came across an article in Cosmo where they interviewed four twenty something year old men about their masturbation habits. One of the questions they asked men was if they preferred masturbation or traditional sex?

One of the gentleman said he preferred masturbation more than traditional sex but not to things like pegging. Unfamiliar with this term I decided to look it up.

According to Wikipedia Pegging is a sexual practice in which a woman performs anal sex on a man by penetrating the man's anus with a strap-on dildo. This practice may also involve stimulating the male genitalia…Really? This is a thing?

As a side note, advice columnist Dan Savage wrote that he believes, “All men should try pegging at least once, as it may introduce them to a new enjoyable sexual activity and illuminate them to the receiver's perspective on sex.”

Let’s get back to men’s masturbating habits.

When I asked men this question they immediately recoiled a bit and hesitated answering me. I’ve learned that men really do want to tell the truth but they have a tremendous fear of being judged. Knowing this I encouraged them to be honest and reminded them of their anonymity.

I’ve also learned that if I pause and give a man at least thirty seconds to a minute to come up with his answer, he’s more inclined to tell me the truth.

I asked 118 men between the ages of 20-64 this question: “How often do you masturbate?”

As you would imagine, men were also very curious about how often women masturbate and what gets them in the mood to do it.

Let’s first take a look at men’s habits of ‘self pleasure.’

Some of the men elaborated and shared some of the places where they’ve done the deed. Nine of the men refused to answer the question feeling that it was too personal and one guy said it was highly inappropriate to even ask such a question.

You might be wondering the highest number I was told.

A 30 something year old single man professed to masturbate 6-8 times per day. I can’t imagine that any man would think that his ability to masturbate numerous times in a day would actually impress a woman, so I have no reason not to believe him.

I was discussing this topic with a chemist and biologist friend of mine and he made the point that he didn’t believe that a man could physiologically produce that amount of semen or fluid on a regular basis to allow him to masturbate that much. He told me a story of a friend of his who donated sperm in college for beer money. His friend was told to not masturbate more than 1-2 times per week because his sperm count would be significantly lowered and his sample size would be too small to be useful for them.

Unable to figure out why he would lie, I decided to believe the 30 something year old guy with his 6-8 times per day answer.

A single salesman in his early 40’s from New Jersey told me: “I am so happy with my girlfriend right now that I don’t need to masturbate. We have sex all the time and it’s great so I have no reason to do it. I actually can’t tell you the last time I did it. Even when I travel for work I don’t have to do it because she’s usually with me because we work for the same company.”

A married professor in his early 50’s chose to tell me about where he usually masturbates. “My wife and I have been married a long time and she doesn’t have that much interest in sex anymore. I usually do it about twice a week and mainly at work. I can’t do it at home so I do it in the bathroom at work. It’s the only private place I can go to and not be disturbed.”

A married Engineer in his late 50’s from Colorado said: ”It’s been a number of years since I’ve even thought about this so I can’t really answer the question.”

About 104 guys answered this question and the average seems to be about 3-5 times per week. Some men do it daily while others said they do it about 2-3 times a month. It does seem to depend on whether the guy is in a sexual relationship or not.

As we would expect, single men tend to masturbate more than married men with the exception of married men who are no longer having sex with their wives. It seems that men who are married and not having regular sex masturbate almost as much as single guys.

One married gentleman in his late 40’s told me that he masturbates to avoid having an affair. He explained that from his perspective there are only two options and he doesn’t want to cheat on his wife so he masturbates daily. Another married guy in his late 30’s told me that he does it when he travels to cut down on his desire to cheat.

Forty of the 118 men were age 50 or above. Of those 40 men, four of them answered, “Very rarely or once or twice a month.” Otherwise the average for this age group was 2-3 times per week.

Men who are between the ages of 20-40 seem to masturbate the most with their answers ranging from 4-5 times per week to daily.

As you would expect the most common place to masturbate is either in bed or at home on the couch. Other than their workplace, a few guys shared with me that they’ve been known to masturbate in a movie theater or in their car.

Many of the men told me they usually imagine an old girlfriend while they’re masturbating. Other men said they sometimes think about a woman with whom they never had the chance to be intimate with but they were always curious about what she’d be like in the bedroom.

So it seems that most men do the deed between 2-5 times per week with the exception of some men who rarely do it. Of the men who rarely do it, most said they are having regular sex and don’t feel the need.

There were three men who said they are consciously choosing not to masturbate for personal reasons and they also feel that it drains their energy.

Whether you do it 4-5 times per week or 4-5 times per month, you fall within the norm. If you haven’t masturbated in years or it’s your full-time job then your habits might be slightly abnormal.

I wasn’t entirely surprised by these results. Most women assume men masturbate but it’s their consistency that surprised me. I think most women go through phases and sometimes do it every few days but then they can also forget about it and go weeks without it. It doesn’t appear that many men ever forget to masturbate even if they’ve made a conscious choice to stop doing it.

Either way it seems like it’s part of their routine for most men but the question still remains, “How often do women do it?”

-If you’re a woman and you’re willing to fess up, send me an email or comment below. I will need your age, marital status, profession (if you choose) and how often and where you typically masturbate.

 Men also want to know whom you’re thinking about while you’re doing it and what got you into the mood. If you’re feeling brave, tell me who or what you’re thinking about before and during your session.

Thanks so much for sharing ladies!

-Heidi